Today I had a chat with one my friends, that I haven‘t met or talked to for at least 2 months I think. Yes, I am still considering him as a friend. That‘s what I want to talk about today, how I think about that topic.
It‘s normal – don‘t worry
If you are remembering back to school, didn‘t you have this friend where you thought, they will be there for the rest of your life? Sure, you will stay in contact forever and meet and talk about how life goes. In most cases that doesn‘t work out. And probably you also went through this a few times, school, high school or other stages of your life.
And that‘s totally fine. We are all different people and expect different things from life. Most of my former friends, preferred to go the traditional way, getting into a relationship marrying, buying a house and keeping their job forever and don‘t move far away from home. Life is different for everybody. Interests change.
When I think back, I wanted to be a car mechanic, work near my parents. Today I cannot even imagine that. I want to be traveling, meet new people, advance myself all the time and learn new things. Which wouldn‘t be possible in the life drawn above. For you it‘s OK, not for me. So as I can not relate to their life, they also cannot understand me. But that‘s fine. There is nothing bad about going on.
So what makes a good friends?
There is this saying if you are looking at the 5 people closest to you, you will find yourself. And I totally agree with that. It‘s the same as in my post You are what you consume.
If you are only around negative and lazy people, chances are high, I am sorry, you are negative and lazy too.
Instead if you are surrounding yourself with positive people that have goals in their life, you are likely to also be like that. And that don‘t even have to be the same goals, they can be totally different. But if you are aligning on the same mentality and principles, that can be a powerful friendship and you will also be able to help and support each other.
There is no right number
The people I love and appreciate, I can count on one hand. That may differ for you. For me it‘s just the right number of relationships that I can keep up with. Otherwise I would be running around in circles trying up with all of them.
They respect my life and I respect theirs. We are all grown up and have our own life, so we don‘t need to chit chat all day. But when shit goes down, we can count on each other. I am not saying here to not talk to your friends, but a good friendship shouldn‘t need that.
Every relationship is different on its own. With some I talk daily, with some monthly or even less. But I know each of them is supportive in their way. Be it business advice, calming me down, talks about feeling (yes, I got some somewhere ;)), going for a beer and doing all of the above. That‘s it for today!