I got feedback through a regular survey.

And of course, I want to know how I am doing in improving. So, what does a good manager do? Set up KPIs.

In my mind, I had a number to address every issue:

• visibility: write x update posts a month
• technical decisions: host one office hour a week
• visibility/perceived closeness: join x dailies a month

The list goes on, and while reading it you may already see what I haven't seen.

After I set up a table with the action on the left and the number on the right, I wanted feedback from my direct reports, what they think about it.

And they gave me the same strange look you have on your face right now.

Luckily, they are not afraid to tell me the truth: "Do you want to show up, or do you want to make a show out of it?"

To them, these numbers didn't mean anything.

They told me bluntly, I don't need to write something if I don't have to say something. I don't need to join a technical meeting just to prove a point. I don't need to join a daily just to check a meeting off my list.

What matters to them is that I show up for them, their teams, and our mission as a team. And exactly that, showing up, is impossible to measure in numbers.

I'd rather have three honest conversations where I am fully present than ten where I am just checking boxes. One post that helps someone beats four written because it's the end of the week.

Leadership isn't a metric.