It probably was a Friday afternoon, and I got a message on Slack. The content doesn’t matter, but the message sent me down a rabbithole of thoughts.
“Did I screw up?”
“Did I cause a ton of issues?”
"Did I take a critically wrong decision?"
“Will I still have my job on Monday morning?”
I would have done everything to solve this situation and get relief in that moment, so I replied, but I didn’t get an answer.
Not after a minute, not after an hour, not after a day.
I had to sit with that the whole weekend. I also didn’t want to appear annoying and unreasonable.
So I had to spend the weekend with the above thoughts in my head…
This thought pattern has ruined quite a few weekends, and also entire vacations, for me.
“Just trying to think of something else” didn’t work. I could distract myself for a while when meeting friends or going out for a drink, but I couldn’t get away from my thoughts. I couldn’t hide for a long time.
On top of that, spiraling in your own thoughts has the potential to derail your whole plan. And with plan I mean life. When your brain takes over, other usually healthy habits suffer and that version of you shows up — the one who skips the workout without thinking twice.
Been there, done that.
I don’t remember exactly where I first heard it. A coach, a book, a conversation on a hike. But at some point someone handed me a question so simple it almost seemed stupid:
“Is this true?”
Whenever I caught my brain spinning, I'd stop and ask myself, sometimes even out loud: "IS THIS TRUE?"
The idea that clicked for me is to force your brain to collect evidence and to bring it back to acting rational again. Our brains love to spin up stories despite real evidence that says otherwise.
It takes time to get used to that and also to catch yourself when you're spiraling in thoughts. To make it a daily practice against overthinking was to put a sticky on the bottom of my monitor with the question:
"Is this true?"
Recently my boss sent me a message in the morning. Same old pattern started. My brain went straight to worst case, but today I have an answer. I asked myself: is this true? I realized it isn’t. I answered the message and moved on in my day.
This is a tool I use myself nearly every day, because the overthinking doesn't stop, but you learn to catch it early, and don't let it rip your day and brain apart.
Have you ever caught yourself in that spiral? A message, a look, a silence — and suddenly your brain is writing the whole disaster story?
I'd love to hear how you handle it. Just hit reply and tell me.
Daniel